Major Mentor: great advice from my new mentor

Everyone should have a mentor who gives good advice, keeps you accountable, gets you thinking long term, helps you to realize the possibilities and your potential to achieve them, offers perspective and is a walking example of balance despite their personal challenges and craziness of the world around them.  

I've been lucky in my lifetime to have different kinds of mentors.  Spiritual mentors, other single moms, fellow service members, etc.  During my time here in Germany I have had the honor to meet who we will call Major Mentor -- a female enlisted Marine turned Air Force nurse officer, turned nurse practioner who is about to get her doctrate degree at the end of this year.  Dang!  When I first met Major Mentor, I was seriously intimidated by her lol.  Not because of her rank or the fact that she leads an all male crew on missions down range, saving hundreds of injured patients' lives, but because of her loud, no BS type of personality. I've come to have the highest respect for her rather than fear.

The first time I had an actual conversation with her I learned that she has a soft spot for Filipinos lol.  It was mentioned that I get mistaken for all types of Asian.  Her response was hilarious, said in her straight New Yorkan accent, "Oh no honey, yaw definitely Fil-ah-pino!  Not fah nothin, but yaw Fil-ah-pino!  Let my tell you why I know...!"

She goes on to tell a great story about how she was lucky enough to be stationed in the Philippines once upon a time and loved it.  She cracked me up especially when she said, "Fil-ah-pino food is slammin!"

She proceeded to tell me how she went from being a Marine (a Marine!!) to an Air Force nurse.  It turned out she deployed with a group of nurses who were, in fact, Filipino lol, "Of cawse they wah Fil-ah-pino, ALL Fil-ah-pinos ah narses!"  She had me cracking up because, let's be honest, there are a lot!

Here's where the mentorship began... 

Major Mentor:  So!  When ah you goin ta join the dawk side?

Me:  LOL, you mean be a nurse?  I dunno.  I've always thought about it, but it's too hard!  So many prereqs.  I'm too old.  I have a kid.  I have a full time job etc, etc, etc (basically every excuse under the sun).

The Betty H. Carter Women Veterans Historical Project

library.uncg.edu

Today Major Mentor approached me and asked me to drive her out to the flight line, during which she asked me, once again, when I would be joining the "dahk side" lol.  What's normally a five minute drive turned into an hour (maybe more) of us in the vehicle where she not only gave me advice on becoming a nurse but also how to be a loving wife and stellar airman. 

On being married:

• Always tell your husband you appreciate what he does.  Don't just say, "thank you", that's not enough, you say that all the time to everyone!  Be specific and say you appreciate him and what he does every day.  
• You gotta like your husband.  It's not enough to just love him.  You gotta actually like being around him, 24/7.  There's a huge difference between like and love.
• When you get home, hang your military hat up and make sure you put your other hats on (wife hat, mommy hat, etc)  
• Before I get home from a drill weekend, I always pick up dinner.  When I get home I drop everything and make sure I eat with my husband and kids no matter how exhausted I am
• When I get home from a long deployment, I cry when I'm 20 minutes from home because I am so happy I am about to see my husband of 26 years (that's not really advice, but it completely touched my heart and made me cry to see such a strong woman feel so deeply emotional about the man she loves).

On becoming a nurse:

• It's the most rewarding job you can have, and you will always have a job.
• Don't tell me it's too hard, or because you have a kid, or whatever BS reason you have for not becoming one.  The only person that will keep you from succeeding in life is yourself.  
• Be aware of culture sensitivity
• A psych tech is a great career, but don't stop there.  Who knows, maybe you can be a psych nurse.  Either way you would make a great one.

On being an airman:

• Don't be a "run away".  Don't be one of those airmen who run away from their problems and make excuses to booze it up.  Take care of your problems.  
• Nothing is permanent.  You are exactly where you are supposed to be
• (Points at my stripes) Were those given to you?  Or did you earn them?  You earned them!  So wear your uniform with pride.  When you're in uniform act as if that is all you're about.  
• Display yourself as the respectful airman that you are and respect others.  You don't have to be people's best friend, or they don't have to even like you, but respect the rank.
• Don't piss people of because you WILL see them again.  It is a small Air Force (LOL!)

On being you:

• Who cares what other people say and think.  Are they feeding you?  Are they putting a roof over your heard?  No.  
• Take care of yourself over anybody else.  You can't love your son or your husband the right way if you don't take care of yourself first
•  You can always tell something's not right in someone's personal life by they way they conduct themselves.  Be happy.  
• Don't stop going to school.  You WILL be an officer someday.

I truly hope to stay in touch with Major Mentor.  Whether I decide to follow her path, I know in my heart that it's achievable.  I have a loving and encouraging fiance who seriously wouldn't care one way or another if I pursued interior design, medical, military, or even a stay at home mom, supportive parents who've shown me love even after all my mistakes, and my son who is reason enough to continue to push myself and improve.  Just like Major Mentor, it's better to be an example than tell your kid how to live.  

Image by Lani Pagmanua