Reality is perception... My thoughts after one week of being engaged

I wish I can say I've been completely positive this week.  Saying goodbye to Ryan this time around was even harder than the first.  In efforts to focus on the remainder of this deployment we've pushed thoughts of wedding planning to the back of our minds.  My biggest challenge has been knowing that my son will be starting 1st grade (big boy school!) this Wednesday, and I won't be there.  He's a brave boy and is in the best hands, but the thought of missing out on his orientation, school shopping, cooking him breakfast, and dropping him off makes me so sad.  His first days of day care, preschool, and kindergarten have always been among my favorite memories of being a mother.

The reality of being apart from my loved ones has forced me to continuously change my perspective about things.  I jumped at another chance to go to Paris; just a day trip this time to give a tour to a couple fellow airmen who had never been.  This time I realized and was intrigued that the Eiffel Tower can present itself in so many ways from different angles and times of the day.

The first time, my friends and I walked from the metro in the evening, just in time to see the the last light show. Even with the hundreds of obnoxious, drunken teenagers running around, I never imagined I'd experience such beauty, awe and excitement like that again, until...

The second time, a taxi dropped Ryan and I off around noon to enjoy a picnic.   There are gypsies in Paris that beg for food and money, and we found that many of them roam around the Eiffel during the day lol.  I giggled when one tried to reach down for a nearby picnicer's salami and cheese.  It only added to the dream-like, romantic afternoon.

The third time, we parked in a residential spot.  We thought we were close because even from far away, the monument looks huge.  We walked and watch it get bigger and bigger the closer we got.  Later, I learned a lot of random facts.  Did you know Gustave Eiffel also engineered the internal structure of the Statue of Liberty?  I was impressed and moved by his response to many Frenchmen who were against the construction of the tower, fearing that it took away from the beauty of Paris.  They thought that it's dark iron frame didn't match the slew of European gothic buildings.

"...  I believe that the Tower will have its own beauty.  Are actual conditions of strength not always compatible with the hidden conditions of harmony?  But what condition did I need to address in the case of the tower? Resistance to wind.  It's great impression of strength and beauty, because they will convey to the eyes the boldness of the conception in its totality. Numerous empty spaces that are part of the plan, constant concern of not uselessly sacrificing to violent thunderstorms surfaces that pose a danger to the stability of the edifice..."

I know that has nothing to do with me, but some of the words just jumped out at me and made me realize that my family was made to be strong and beautiful.  I just have to change my perspective.

Different perspectives of the Iron Lady